Dissociative Identity Disorder

“I was always afraid and felt a void where my heart should be.”

“Never forget what happened to you. Never forget.” “But I have to, at least for a while.” Sometime later Baby came up with a solution for her counterpart- 1991, the six-year-old who held the memories. “You can break yourself, cut yourself into two and hid yourself while I use your body to operate.” “I can…

Dissociative Identity Disorder

“Dissociative Identity Disorder doesn’t have to be a lonely, shattering, hopeless diagnosis.”

For most of my childhood, I lived an excruciatingly abusive, dysfunctional, neglectful, overwhelming and isolating life. However, I didn’t recognize or remember most of the traumas until over 22 years later. I was homeschooled, attended church regularly, and had very few friends. I was often called the, “space cadet,” “clumsy one,” and “extremely- mature one”…

Bipolar Disorder | Dissociative Identity Disorder | Panic Attacks

“I worry about scaring people off or making them feel unsafe or uncomfortable.”

I knew I was mentally ill pretty early on. I remember being in either sixth or seventh grade, and over one of my summers, I was just hit with my first round of depression. I was crying for hours for no reason and I just could no longer do anything. One of my friends told…

Dissociative Identity Disorder

“Because of the stigma, I’ve worked hard to keep the diagnosis off paper.”

I didn’t have a strong sense that something was wrong for a very long time, which I would later learn is largely the function of dissociative disorders. I was diagnosed with DID at 29, and it’s something I still struggle immensely to accept as true. Because accepting it as true means letting go of the…

Dissociative Identity Disorder

“I isolate myself and can’t form deep connections with anyone because I am too attached to my alters.”

I started to feel something was off when I was 16. I lost memories and moments, and I also lost contact with feelings that I was unable to feel. For example, when I experienced a happy moment I couldn’t feel happy at all, so I faked emotions mostly. I started to see myself differently in…

Borderline Personality Disorder | Dissociative Identity Disorder

“I wish people would stop treating me like my diagnosis is the only thing to me.”

When I turned eight years old, I started experiencing chronic suicidality, hearing voices inside my head and experiencing this all-consuming depression and despair. My mother was the one to realise that something wasn’t quite right because when I was nine years old, I told her that I wanted to die. And when I was 12,…

Dissociative Identity Disorder | Histrionic Personality Disorder | Narcissistic Personality Disorder

“I am constantly fighting my self-esteem and this need to be seen all the time.”

My HPD symptoms are often mixed with my NPD symptoms; wanting excessive attention, breaking down if I don’t get it and feeling immediately useless and worthless. My self-esteem is fluctuating a lot and it depends way too much on what people say, what they think about me, etc. I’ve had these symptoms for as long…

Dissociative Identity Disorder

“DID is not super common by any means, but it’s a lot less rare then people portray it as.”

With DID, our usual symptoms are disassociation, headaches, intense anxiety/paranoia, trauma flashbacks, and extreme confusion depending on the headmate. Some of these are common symptoms, but it honestly depends on the system. As for which are more intense than the others? I would say the most common for us is dissociation and intense paranoia. Honestly,…

Autism Spectrum Disorder | Dissociative Identity Disorder

“We are thankful for our DID, as it’s kept us alive.”

Hello! My name is Max, I am an alter in our system. We went undiagnosed with autism for 20 years, and have been diagnosed with autism for almost a year now. Currently we are getting a proper diagnosis of DID. We acknowledge that getting an official diagnosis is a privilege. We think of diagnoses as…

Autism Spectrum Disorder | Dissociative Identity Disorder

“The therapist didn’t believe us and told us not to talk about it to anyone.”

Hello, I am Alec. Well, actually I’m not Alec, Alec is the person everyone sees. I’m Zif and I am part of a DID system. DID, better known as Dissociative Identity Disorder, is a form of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) in which your personality isn’t able to form in childhood because of severe traumatic events….