Anxiety 2 - Lives Not Labels

“He wrote me off as not ‘truly being trans’ because of my Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder.”

I have a myriad of conditions- all diagnosed in adulthood- however I have been experiencing symptoms of most of these things since early childhood, with some popping up in my teen years. I have Bipolar Disorder (started as a teen/young adult), OCD (started in early childhood), ADHD (born with), autism (born with), Complex PTSD (I’ve…

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

“The O is just as important as the C in OCD, and not everyone suffers from the O.”

I’m 36 now, but my OCD symptoms started when I was younger. High school wasn’t something I enjoyed and my mum had a history of OCD, so maybe it was inevitable. By the time I was 16 the worries and anxieties were becoming all-encompassing. Total rumination, all day every day. For hours on end. Is this…

Anxiety

“The moment I was diagnosed mentally ill, the dynamic between us changed.”

I remember that from the age of 13 years old, I was always anxious. After trauma hit me, my mind was running nonstop with anxiety. Life has been a blur since. It felt like a psychological block formed in my head due to my repressed, unconscious anxiety. I cannot learn new things, nor do things…

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

“There are so many aspects of my diagnosis that I, nor people around me, knew were OCD.”

I was nine years old when anxiety started taking over my life. I was constantly in my head. I was overly scared of things around me, and scared of things I was thinking. At that time we didn’t know it was OCD. I had to ‘confess’ everything to my mom. Anything that I felt may be…

Body Focused Repetitive Behaviours (BFRBs) | Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

“It’s difficult to focus in class or complete homework with the intrusive thoughts and anxiety.”

I knew something was off at around 10 years old. I was experiencing depressive and anxious thoughts, but didn’t start speculating that I may have OCD until the age of around 14. I actually looked into it because I had been picking my skin excessively. I’d found out information about dermatillomania and many sources described…

Anxiety | Panic Attacks | Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

“Everyone made me feel like I was crazy.”

I first began noticing something was wrong when I was a sophomore in high school. I started to chatter my teeth (shiver), vomit, and experienced major stomach issues (embarrassing and out of my control). I had a racing heart and this overwhelming fear that I was dying. All of these symptoms came together. It was…

Autism Spectrum Disorder | Borderline Personality Disorder | Histrionic Personality Disorder | Narcissistic Personality Disorder

“NPD and HPD in particular are so often vilified, but the reality is different when you live with them.”

I first thought, “Damn, I seem to struggle with stuff no one else struggles with,” at the age of around nine to twelve, which was when my family problems, losses and the start of puberty kind of collided. These circumstances have culminated in diagnoses as an adult of Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder…

Borderline Personality Disorder | Dependent Personality Disorder

“You are a constant hostage to your emotions that can override your day- anywhere, anyhow.”

My diagnoses are Borderline Personality Disorder and Dependent Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed with BPD in 2016 and DPD more recently in 2021. I got diagnosed with BPD in a mental health hospital after my whole life broke down (loss of marriage, loss of motherhood – my son staying with his dad, loss of my…

Borderline Personality Disorder | Eating Disorder

“The thought that burrowed becomes a crack that splits everything in my head.”

I have always had a sort of ambivalent relationship to my body. I haven’t always taken very good care of it, and at times it has shown. Hangovers that have lasted too many days. Scars, cuts and bruises- both accidental and intentional- have taken their place alongside tattoos. As I have hit my late thirties,…

Borderline Personality Disorder

“My reaction was extreme- I hated talking about what bought me to this point.”

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with depression and anxiety. My symptoms include fear of abandonment, lack of sense of self, a disturbed pattern of thinking, impulsive behaviour and chronic feelings of emptiness. In total there are nine symptoms of BPD and I’m lucky to no longer have turbulent relationships, explosive anger or self destructive tendencies….