Eating Disorder 2 - Lives Not Labels

“NPD and HPD in particular are so often vilified, but the reality is different when you live with them.”

I first thought, “Damn, I seem to struggle with stuff no one else struggles with,” at the age of around nine to twelve, which was when my family problems, losses and the start of puberty kind of collided. These circumstances have culminated in diagnoses as an adult of Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder…

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

“I’m often lonely because of social withdrawal and a general mistrust of other people.”

I suffer from PTSD, which is characterised by anxiety and panic, as well as other symptoms. My symptoms include excessive jumpiness, hypervigilance and feelings of panic and helplessness which can lead to feeling faint and dizzy. This can also progress to dissociation, depersonalisation and flashbacks, as well as re-experiencing trauma in present situations and visual…

Borderline Personality Disorder | Eating Disorder

“The thought that burrowed becomes a crack that splits everything in my head.”

I have always had a sort of ambivalent relationship to my body. I haven’t always taken very good care of it, and at times it has shown. Hangovers that have lasted too many days. Scars, cuts and bruises- both accidental and intentional- have taken their place alongside tattoos. As I have hit my late thirties,…

Anxiety | Bipolar Disorder | Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder | Depression | Eating Disorder

“I hid the extent of my illness a lot because I felt like I was broken or a freak.”

I had a long-standing diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, alongside depression and anxiety, which has recently been re-diagnosed as CPTSD (which makes so much more sense to me). I also have anorexia. Masking is something I spend a huge amount of time and energy doing. I’ve struggled with massive fluctuations in mood since my teens –…

Dissociative Identity Disorder

“Having DID affected us a lot in school.”

It all started at around my 10th birthday. I don’t really remember much, but I know around this time I started having really bad depression, anxiety, SH and ED thoughts. I would sleep all day and be up all night just online talking to strangers to feel value, or to not feel sad. This went…

Eating Disorder

“For me, it goes way beyond emotional eating.”

Although I was diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder (BED) some time ago, this is one of the only times I have spoken about it. BED suffers from far more stigma compared to other eating disorders. Whilst people with anorexia and bulimia are treated with sympathy and are thought of as brave, the same isn’t really…