I am a 45 year old with an immense life story- ostensibly just a male, discouraged (quiet) BPD sufferer who went undiagnosed for years. I was the golden child of Asian immigrants to the UK- very much Head Boy and all that, but with familial abuse and incipient coping mechanisms like OCD and BDD (Body…
“Never forget what happened to you. Never forget.” “But I have to, at least for a while.” Sometime later Baby came up with a solution for her counterpart- 1991, the six-year-old who held the memories. “You can break yourself, cut yourself into two and hid yourself while I use your body to operate.” “I can…
I was 13 years old in my first year of high school. I felt like a light in me had sort of ‘switched off’ and I felt emotionally numb most of the time. There were times that were happy that I should have felt happy, and times that were sad where I should have felt…
I would say I started noticing something was not right when I was 14. I was being bullied, so I was experiencing distress on a daily basis, self-harming regularly and even had suicidal thoughts. Although the bullying was partly responsible for it, I think it was just the trigger of something much bigger. Throughout my…
I think I knew I had signs of BPD back as a teenager. I would cry every night and have overwhelming thoughts of bad things that were going to happen, or that I was all alone in the world. Looking back I was really poorly. I didn’t get diagnosed until my mid 20s with BPD….
I knew when I was 12 that I was different. I had horrific social anxiety. I was either wildly happy or I felt the world was going to end and I struggled with making friends and interacting with people, to the point one of my best friends dumped me because I was too intense. I…
As far as feeling different and like there was something wrong with me goes, I think I noticed it my whole life. As long as anyone can remember I was always an incredibly emotional and especially scared child. But the first time I realized that I might really need help was when I was going…
I think I was 11 or 12 years old when I first knew something was wrong. I was quite alone and developed a storybook world in my head to escape the difficulties of day to day life. I kept all of this to myself. I was pretty unhappy, as I remember, and tried hard to…
When my Mother died when I was eight, I was shuffled into a psychologist’s office in short order- adopted brown kid in a white area, dead mother– my father was no fool, he knew that I would need support. The problem was, of course, the age in which I grew up. I was born in…
The first sign my mental health was going downhill was getting hit like a tonne of bricks with anxiety, panic disorder and OCD the week I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I was treated and things were okay for a few years. Then I fell into a deep dark depression that…