I knew when I was 12 that I was different. I had horrific social anxiety. I was either wildly happy or I felt the world was going to end and I struggled with making friends and interacting with people, to the point one of my best friends dumped me because I was too intense. I…
As far as feeling different and like there was something wrong with me goes, I think I noticed it my whole life. As long as anyone can remember I was always an incredibly emotional and especially scared child. But the first time I realized that I might really need help was when I was going…
I think I was 11 or 12 years old when I first knew something was wrong. I was quite alone and developed a storybook world in my head to escape the difficulties of day to day life. I kept all of this to myself. I was pretty unhappy, as I remember, and tried hard to…
When my Mother died when I was eight, I was shuffled into a psychologist’s office in short order- adopted brown kid in a white area, dead mother– my father was no fool, he knew that I would need support. The problem was, of course, the age in which I grew up. I was born in…
I have suffered with my mental health since my teens (I’m now 32) but for a very long time I’ve kept my feelings well-hidden and been able to manage my symptoms internally and not let it affect aspects of my life. Unfortunately, my mental health has significantly worsened over the last five years, leading to…
I noticed that there was a problem when my boyfriend, with whom I’d been in a long-distance relationship between Brazil and Belgium, came to join me in Belgium when I turned 18. As soon as he arrived- and I’d been looking forward to this moment more than anything else in the world- I felt very…
I’ve known I had Borderline Personality Disorder for about 20 years now. It’s hard to believe I’ve known for so long. In some ways so much has changed and improved that I forget I even have it- until something happens and sends me over the edge. Then my emotions come back and I’m overwhelmed with despair….
I experience or have experienced all nine symptoms of BPD at different points in my life. Fear of abandonment is one that I deal with all the time, as I feel it is a driver for many of my thoughts and actions. Many times, my behaviors can be traced back to the core feeling of,…
For as long as I can remember, I have felt different. In primary school, I was bullied and excluded. So, when I was about 10 years old, I remember making the conscious decision to fit in at all costs. I began masking, people pleasing, and mimicking others. This led to challenges in both friendships and romantic…
The first time that it occurred to me that something wasn’t right with me was in 2014. I was 13 and I felt like an outsider or an alien. I was being bullied. I think the exact moment it hit me was when I was sobbing in my bedroom after school, my sister walked in…