Depression 4 - Lives Not Labels

Bipolar Disorder | Borderline Personality Disorder

“I think a lot of LGBTQ+ people struggle with some form of mental health concern because we’ve all grown up in a world that tells us that it’s wrong to be who we are.”

My diagnoses are Bipolar Type 1 with psychotic features and Borderline Personality Disorder, so I have drawn-out periods of mania and depression, and when those end I still have problems with identity, emotional stability, anger, and suicidality. I first noticed something was wrong when I was in high school and would switch between phases of…

Bipolar Disorder

“My bipolar episodes often make it feel like it is impossible to succeed.”

I have Bipolar Disorder Type 1, which means that I get both full blown depression and mania. My depression started when I was about 15 years old, but I didn’t see a therapist until I was 19 years old. I was suicidal and my friend encouraged me to see a therapist at that point. After…

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

“My personality had changed so drastically that I didn’t want anyone to see this version of myself.”

Today was the fifth time I have left the house since 2017. That’s five times in five years. If you think that’s extreme, that’s because it is. I suffer from agoraphobia, social anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia and suspected PTSD from medical trauma, and leaving the house is extremely difficult and stressful for me. It’s actually…

Cyclothymia

“It can take days and days before I even shower properly, or do the dishes, or open the windows.”

When I finally got myself together and went to see a psychiatrist, I already had done a lot of bulls**t. Too many wrong, stupid, nonsense and embarrassing bulls**t. For years. Decades. Let’s say, since I have memories. The last straw was a phone call with my mother. I had a couple of shots of tequila…

Schizophrenia

“It was like the world was operating in slow motion.”

Up until last year, I’d never heard of the prodromal phase of schizophrenia. In fact I knew almost nothing of schizophrenia at all, and I definitely didn’t think it would be a label that would apply to me. But twelve months on, here I am. Although I do have a family history of schizophrenia, I…

Anxiety | Autism Spectrum Disorder | Borderline Personality Disorder | Depression

“I am in a constant cycle of pushing people away to avoid rejection, but desperately wanting to be liked and have friends.”

My symptoms have existed for as long as I can remember, and I spent most of my teens under a CAMHS team. Despite this, I was well into my twenties, my teaching career and my umpteenth crisis before an eagle-eyed psychiatrist recognised I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I also…

Bipolar Disorder

“I woke up to a giant spider crawling on my wall.”

My story with Bipolar 1 begins in October 2021. I was attending college at the time. It was almost impossible to concentrate and stay on top of all my work. I had never struggled in school before this, and I didn’t understand why I was having such a hard time. I was starting to experience…

Cyclothymia

“When I am manic, I overreact.”

I remember standing in front of the mirror with my meds in my hand. I wondered if I was about to lose my personality. The thought that I may have never been myself was really odd. Of course that didn’t happen. I am still me, just more stable. I still have a sense of humor,…

Anxiety | Depression

“I couldn’t understand why I was being treated like I was somehow milking the system for having time off for a medical condition.”

I am a teacher and I have depression and anxiety. Sadly these days, this is a sentence that is true not only of me but also of the majority of my colleagues. I was diagnosed back in 2019 and to be honest I was quite fortunate, because all it took was a trip to my…

Physical Disability

“I’d got sick of hating my appearance.”

I was born with a very narrow nasal cavity, which lead to mouth breathing, which lead to jaw deformity. By the end of school, when I’d done most of my growing, I had had developed a significant underbite. The lower teeth leant inwards to compensate, so the misalignment between my upper and lower teeth wasn’t…